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Presidential Job Application
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Take this political survey
Full Name (minimum of 3 names required for the job)
Age
Gender
Party affiliation
Have you ever been arrested?
What for?
Served jail time?
Have you ever used drugs?
What drugs?
Been convicted of drug possession?
Have you ever smuggled something illegal into the country?
Do you have a scandalous past?
Please explain
Personality/Beliefs/Values
What are your views on world domination?
Do you have any religious ideologies?
How do you feel about trampling the rights of states within the US?
What about trampling the rights of other countries?
Do you think any drugs should be legalized?
Do you believe that you are always right?
Do you value the opinions of others?
Are you able to admit when you are wrong?
Do you believe that it is ok to go on vacation during a crisis?
Do you believe in the philosophy of screw the little guy?
Do you believe it is the governments responsibility to take care of people?
What are your views on the current state of the wellfare system?
How do you feel about the current state of Social Security?
Do you believe that when you are old enough to collect you will be able to?
What would you do to ease/solve the oil crisis?
Would you protect the environment?
Would you go to war with countries unprovoked?
Do you believe in eminent domain?
Who would you appoint to the Supreme Court?
How would you handle devastating natural disasters like Hurricane Katrina?
Would you make your own decisions or what your parents wanted you to do?
Would you travel in the black limos or incognito?
Now, on to your experience and qualifications
Have you ever declared war? Why?
Have you ever used nuclear force? Why?
Would you ever do either? Why?
Have you had an affair with your intern?
Do you have friends in low places to hide your secrets?
Do you have friends in high places to give you lots of money?
Have you ever had to lead a discussion?
Are you able to have a conversation without sounding like an idiot?
Do you stutter?
Do you use insensitive words in public like crusade and savage?
Do you have an IQ score about 25?
Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Have you ever been caught in a compromising situation?
Can you count with your shoes on and your hands in your pockets?
Have you ever had someone taken care of?
Did you only marry your spouse because one of you was knocked up?
Do you have grey hair yet?
Do you tend to shift blame onto people who cant defend themselves?
Are you in oil and all thats associated with that?
Do you wear cowboy boots to work?
Can you sign your name quickly?
Can you spell your name correctly?
Are you able to sit in front of a phone and not push all the buttons?
Do you know how to read?
Are you capable of having any independent thoughts?
Do you know what those are?
Do you believe in the freedom of speech?
Do you just want to take a huge crap on individuals civil rights?
Do you believe that states are competant enough to make good decisions?
Would you put your own picture on a new form of money?
Would you attack Canada for the fun of it?
Would you deport all the illegals?
Would you institute mandatory sterilization for stupid people?
Do you make babies cry?
Do you make old ladies cry?
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